When A Scene Just Won’t Do

Most of a writer’s genius comes in the art of the finesse. How finely you craft your project before you let it go is up to each individual writer.

As a plot consultant, I developed the Scene Tracker Kit to help writers finesse their scenes. A story comes alive at the scene level for the audience, be it a crowd or an individual reader. Well-written scenes allow both the observer and the reader to viscerally take part in the story. Some people rather enjoy a more distanced, intellectual challenge. Most, however, engage on an emotional level, too.

Each scene has a plot structure of its own. The scene shows the character step toward a goal or desire. The move forward causes an equal or better effect with conflict and tension. The scene ends with failure or an unanswered question, or a cliffhanger, something that entices the audience deeper into the story.

Moment by Moment

Scenes show moment-by-moment action that causes an effect on the characters’ development as shown through his/her words choices in dialogue, facial expressions, next moves in response to the action, gestures, and every detail down to the breath.

Plot covers a specified period of time, from one moment in the centuries past and those to come. The Blockbuster Plots line of plot tools explains plot at the overall story level and at the scene level, too. In both cases, the focus is on scene.

But, when stories take place over a long time span, one scene cannot always cause the next scene to unfold. In order that the story not become episodic, the use of summary becomes paramount. Cause and effect soothes the audience and makes the story best spent in scene. But, there are times when a scene just won’t do.

Summary

You’ve heard the writer’s mantra: “Show, don’t tell,”

A scene shows.

Summary tells.

A story made up entirely of scenes can inject too much conflict and become exhausting for the reader or moviegoer. Summary is a place to rest and make transitions. Instead of every single moment played out in scene, time is compressed with summary.

Summary narrates quickly those events that are not as important enough to the overall story line to show in detail. Summary relates the events in their sequence or tells how things were during a particular period time. The use of summary is helpful in moving the story forward quickly. That way you, as the writer, can focus on creating scenes to show the moments that are the most important to your plot.

Movie and Novel Examples

Always a sucker for a good historical story, I have chosen two epics to serve as examples for the use of summary. Charles Frasier begins Thirteen Moons in Circumstantial Summary. Director Sofia Coppola’s begins Marie Antoinette in Sequential Summary.

Circumstantial Summary

“There is no scatheless rapture. Love and time put me in this condition. I am leaving soon for the Nighland, where all the ghosts of man and animals yearn to travel. We’re called to it. I feel it pulling at me, same as everyone else. It is the last unmapped country, and a dark way getting there. A sorrowful path. And maybe not exactly Paradise at the end. The belief I’ve acquired over a generous and nevertheless inadequate time on earth is that we arrive in the afterlife as broken as when we departed from the world. But, on the other hand, I’ve always enjoyed a journey.

“Cloudy days, I sit by the fire and talk nothing but Cherokee. Or else I sit silent with pen and paper, rendering the language into Sequoyah’s syllabrary, the characters forming under my hand like hen-scratch hieroglyphs. On sunny days, I usually rock on the proch wrapped in a blanket t and read and admire the vista.”

The opening of Thirteen Moons by Charles Frasier is an example of Circumstantial Summary. The general circumstances are described from the main character’s point of view. The audience learns what his life is like now that he faces death. The main character gives us his take on the approaching “Nightland.” The second paragraph tells us in summary the circumstances of how his days unfold.

Sequential Summary

The movie Marie Antoinette begins with a series of snippets like short summaries, some lasting only seconds. The first snippet is of Marie as a 13-year-old girl waking up one morning. Next snippet she plays with her dog while being dressed by her attendant. Next, her mother tells Marie the gravity of the honor being bestowed her. Marie then sets off on a journey. Friends appear along the way. The betrothed is introduced. Marie and friends sleep on the carriage. They play cards on the carriage. They sleep.

The opening of Marie Antoinette relates in sequence the events that happen over a specific period of time, but compresses them. This is an example of Sequential Summary.

Summary is telling and sets us apart from the action. However, in both examples, the use of authentically historic sensory details infuses the summaries with life and immediacy.

Note of Caution

In Marie Antoinette, Sophia Coppola creates Thematic Significance and forces a comparison between the story and the rock star mentality of today. Yet, both Thirteen Moons and Marie Antoinette overuse Circumstantial Summary and Sequential Summary both. Summary, no matter how well written or directed, ultimately distances the audience from the character.

In each of these examples, when we do get an intimate peek into the character, it is in scenes that flow one into the next through cause and effect. However, this happens in few too many scenes and far too short a time.

Yes, summary makes the time pass and history unfold quickly. The audience observes life during a specific time span and truly feels that time. But, ultimately, something is lost at the Character Emotional Development level when stories spend more time in summary and not enough time in scene. 

Writers' Self-Sabotage

Do you have the dream of finishing your story and then find yourself not showing up for your writing?

Think of today as the start of a whole new schedule. One day at a time.

Everyday make time for writing and for exercise. As you exercise meditate on this:

What you are writing is not hard -- it's the first draft -- it's okay if absolute shit (excuse my rant!) or second or last.

What you are writing is the answer to your dreams -- a giant step toward becoming who you are meant to be -- the big you, the spirit you.

Why does the little you (ego / resistance) have so much power???

Why does everyone else come before you and your dreams??

What are you so afraid of??

Why are you sabotaging yourself????

You can do this. One day at a time. Give your writing time to yourself as a gift.

Okay, enough of that.

You've got a great plan. 

I'm sending you loving healing energy now and now and now... Every day this week you'll stay true to your commitment to yourself. If you can't trust yourself, then who???

The Importance of Character

A dear, dear friend asked me what I thought of an editor's comments regarding her latest book. Having been told that the book did not have a wide enough appeal to a general audience but rather more valued by family and friends who could fill in the gaps, my friend turned to me. 

First let me say that my friend has had / is having an amazing life and that she is a terrific writer -- she has a wonderful way with words and, though this latest book comes closer to a true memoir than her first book -- a collection of non-fiction vignettes-- I agree with the editor. 

Without having dropped the veil on her own personal story and the deeper story of her relationships, the reader never has a chance to see how she is changed by the journey she undertakes in the story. Instead of more closely concentrating on her inner evolution, she focused on the outside. And, by keeping herself at a distance, the reader in the end is robbed of the true joy of reading -- identification. 

Universal appeal comes through the character -- the inner plot, not though the dramatic action -- the outer plot. The protagonist (in a memoir, that means you, the author) drives the story and the allows for an emotional involvement on the part of the reader. 

Yes, my friend wrote herself in such a way that she comes across strong and both empathetic and sympathetic. However, without a clear goal and an clearly identified inner problem that gets solved, the reader is left to fill in the gaps.

Key elements in the character inner plot:

1) The protagonist must grow throughout the story in a believable and meaningful way. 

2) Protagonist goal = must be specific. The goal is what motivates the character and is what allows the reader to gauge when the character comes closer to goal and when she is thrust further away. What does the character want and why?

2) The character must reveal themselves to the reader. This can be accomplished through dialogue and descriptions, and through the actions she takes. In whichever way the writer finds to "show" the character, the character's emotion must be included = Character Emotional Development. 

3) The secondary and minor characters act as real people who offer comparisons and contrasts to the main character, thus expanding the readers' understanding of the protagonist and of the overall theme itself.

4) Is the character struggling against herself and an external antagonist? Whether an inner demon or flaw and / or an external antagonist, we must understand the obstacles in the way of the protagonist achieving her goal to more fully appreciate the growth she ultimately makes.

For a simple questionnaire to help develop your protagonist's inner and outer plot, fill out the Character Emotional Development Profile.

Foreshadow versus Flashback

A good story is able to seduce a reader by the illusion created on the page. A story written in scene creates its own time and a sense that the present moment is all that exists for the reader. As the reader sinks into the world of the characters on the page, they surrender even their emotions to the illusion. This strengthens as the reader comes to know the characters and care for them, even to worry about them. The reader's body responds on a visceral level; their hearts beat faster. Perhaps they laugh or weep, present and involved in the story world itself.

Flashbacks serve as a reminder to the reader that they are indeed reading what is only an illusion. This weakens the trance and can even break it.

Foreshadowing, however, is a literary device that alludes to something that will happen later in the story. Foreshadowing is subtle way to draw the reader deeper into the illusion with the promise of the excitement to come.

In the Beginning, or the first 1/4 of the page count or scene count, foreshadows actually appear as introductions.

Harper Lee, in To Kill a Mockingbird, uses foreshadowing in such a way as to strengthen the illusion of the story world. In the Beginning of the story, the reader is introduced, but not shown, Boo as a "malevolent phantom."

At the end of the Beginning we learn that Scout was "so busy looking at the fire you didn't know it when [Boo] put the blanket around you," The reader now has a sense that Boo is not what he first appeared. This act of Boo's in the Beginning foreshadows the Climax of the story. And it is the reader's curiosity about who Boo really is that draws them into the heart of the story.

Burris Ewell is also introduced in the Beginning. The reader comes to know Burris as "the filthiest human I had ever seen." "He's a mean one, a down-hard mean one. He's liable to start somethin'." Soon after we learn that his "paw's right contentious." Because of this introduction in the Beginning to the boy and his paw, when we learn what the paw has done in the Middle of the story, we are not surprised.

At the end of the Beginning, Scout wakes up to snow, something she has never seen before, and screams: "The world's endin', Atticus! Please do something --!" This is a powerful way to leave the Beginning and launch into the Middle of the story -- the actual story world itself because from that moment on, Scout's world as she knows it, does in fact, end.

Much later in the story, in the middle of the End, after Tom Robinson commits suicide, we learn that "Mr. Ewell said it made one down and about two more to go."

Soon after that the Judge, who embarrassed Mr. Ewell in the trial, has an attempted break-in at his house. If the reader had not already figured it out, they now know for sure whom the third party is that Mr. Ewell alluded to. The reader becomes viscerally afraid for Atticus and starts turning the pages faster. Soon after, when Aunt Alexandra stops short in the middle of her sentence, and says, "Somebody just walked over my grave," the reader feels the sensation as well and their fear deepens.

Even as the reader "sees" Scout in her Halloween costume and is caught up in the light-hearted fun of her presentation to the family and Calpurnia, the hair on the back of the reader's neck does not relax. When Jem escorts Scout to the pageant and their friend pops out behind the big oak tree to frighten them, the sense of doom heightens. On the way home after the pageant, when the Jem and Scout approach that same tree, the reader knows the Climax is near.

Reading is a mindful activity. When the writing is good and in scene, a reader reads the words, but rather than pay attention to them, becomes engaged with the characters. This keeps the reader in the present moment -- not real time present moment, but story time present moment. While we are reading in scene, there is only a sense of flow.

This paradigm does not only occur when reading "above the line" scenes or, in other words, scenes filled with tension, conflict and suspense. Even when the character is reflecting on an experience, going inward to find out what they are feeling and thinking, still the reader can stay in the illusion.

However, this sort of inner reflection by the character usually is not necessary because a character's external behavior is directly influenced by their inner state of being both in the moment and as a reflection of the past.

The best reading occurs when the reader is so in the trance of the story that there never seems to be a good enough reason to put the book down. Foreshadowing helps create this feeling. The reader cannot stop until they find out if what they think will happen based on clever foreshadowing does in fact happen. But what about that next foreshadow? The reader is as unable to stop or even slow down as the characters are.

Now is not the time to throw in a flashback, especially not in the final 1/4 of the story. A flashback can give the reader a good reason to stop. Foreshadowing, however, pulls the reader deeper and deeper into the story world and gives more and more reasons to keep on reading.

Fatal Plot Flaw

Of the 10 elements in the Character Emotional Development Profile, the one of greatest importance to the overall plot of the story is Goal.

The other elements help create conflict, tension, suspense and curiosity -- all critical to a successful story -- as well as create a three-dimensional character.

The #1 problem I find, well... perhaps that's too sweeping but I'm trying to make a point here, is that writers often neglect to create a specific goal that in turn provides specific action steps the character takes to achieve her goal. 

The Goal "to be happy" leads to a vague and meandering story. 

Instead, be specific. What does she need = goal(s) -- to make her happy? The Goal needs to be tangible and quantifiable = in other words, the reader or movie-goer must be able to determine when the character moves closer to her goal versus further away. 

Plot Tip: Creating an Illusion

Living in the present moment is difficult for most people.

Only while daydreaming or night dreaming, through mediation, under hypnosis, or while in the zone of writing or some other passion and with practice, can we stay mindful or conscious of the present moment for a sustained period of time. Usually our minds are darting into the future, whether the next 10 minutes or 10 years from now, or into the past, what just happened or what happened long ago.

Reading is a mindful activity. When the writing is good and in scene, a reader reads the words, but rather than pay attention to them, becomes engaged with the characters. This keeps the reader in the present moment -- not real time present moment, but story time present moment. Watching a scene unfold on the screen or while reading it on the page, we experience a sense of flow.

A story written in scene creates its own time and a sense that the present moment is all that exists. As we sink into the world of the characters, we surrender even our emotions to the illusion. This strengthens as we come to know the characters and care for them, even to worry about them. Our bodies respond on a visceral level; our hearts beat faster. We laugh and weep, present and involved in the story world itself.

Elements that entice a reader or moviegoer to sink deeper into the dream:

1)      Characters who invoke interest in the reader or movie-goer

2)      Conflict, tension and suspense that sustains excitement

3)      Only enough back story to inform that particular scene and triggers in the reader or movie-goers curiosity and investment in the dream

4)      Clarity into whom and what to root for in the story

5)      Consistency in story pacing versus missteps that can jolt the reader awake

6)      Right sensory details that deepen the overall story (dream) mood

7)      Foreshadowing that offers enticement (flashbacks can create time disorientation).

8)      No hint of the author in the story versus author intrusion

9)      The right balance between Scene and Summary

10)  Payoffs in the dramatic action and the character emotional development at just the right moments.

Once the lights go on in the theater or we put the book down, it takes a moment or two to remember that the people in the story were an illusion. Often, it is necessary to consciously detach from the world on the screen or the page in order to return to real life and regain a sense of real time.

The best stories are when we are with the characters and so in the trance of the moment that there never seems to be a good reason to put the book down or to pause the DVD. Lured deeper and deeper into the dream, we are unable to stop watching or stop reading until we find out if what we fear will happen does indeed happen, or not.

Word Count for Scenes

(NOTE: I know I said I'd address more about theme, but received the following question. Will continue theme discussion next time.)
Question:

I've been working through my scene tracker and planned 20 chapters, each with 3 scenes or a total of 60 scenes. I divided plot into the first 1/4 or 5 chapters, the next 1/2 15 chapters, and the final 1/4 or 5 chapters.

Last evening as I was writing I realized each scene would have to be about 1,000 words to get to 60,000 and right now they are only about 600. What is a good average for scenes? Are my scenes too word light (Oh no!)?

Thanks so much! I appreciate your thoughts!

Answer:

Sounds like you've done lots of pre-plotting, analyzing and preparing for this new story of yours. Congratulations!! 

Now it's time to forget about the structure and write. Well, that's not entirely true. Don't forget about all the work you've done. Use your guidelines as support as you write your way through the scenes, but don't get bogged down by the pre-plotting.

Some of us benefit from having a road map before setting off on a journey (new story). However, it's also nice to be able to wander off once in awhile if so inspired. So, it depends on if you're writing for fun and for the experience and the learning and the exploring OR if you're writing under a deadline. Under a deadline, keep to the pre-plot work to keep your writing on track. 

The scenes in the first draft generally grow in subsequent drafts as you add more elements -- authentic and thematic details, more emotion, deeper character development, snappier action.

Write your first draft all the way through without going back and without worrying about how long the scenes end up being. Once you reach the end, you'll have plenty of time to analyze what you have and make decisions for the next draft.

Great good luck!!!!

Plot Your Story's Theme

The Thematic Significance of your story is the thread that holds your story together. The more clearly you can define your thematic significance statement, the tighter your story. Once you have identified your Thematic Significance statement, your scene choices and word choices throughout your story will follow theme. The theme then serves as your compass, determining what fits and what doesn't.

Writers generally begin a new project writing in their strength:
Dramatic Action
Character Emotional Development
Thematic Significance

The writers who begin with an idea they want to explore or a concept they want to prove through their story are beginning with Thematic Significance. For the rest of us, the theme of our stories bubbles up from the story itself in later drafts. No matter what we write, the process of writing is an exploration into ourselves, our own personal themes.

Either way the theme comes to you, the themes we write about most often originate from our own personal past -- at least for the first several stories this is true. Our own belief system and the themes we live our lives by pop up in our stories when we least expect them. Unless, that is, we are aware of the themes we live by and are on the lookout for them.

HOMEWORK:
Make a list of the themes you find that seem to consistently come up in your writing.

Next post, I'll discuss how to take that list and shape those themes ideas into a Thematic Significance statement for your project.

Theme and Plot

I just finished reading The Geography of Bliss; One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World by Eric Weiner. Yes, it's a non-fiction book but because it borders on a memoir thus makes an interesting study for a compulsive plot consultant such as myself.

Selected as One of the Best Books of the Year by the Washington Post Book World, The Geography of Bliss is called a travelogue by the Atlantic Journal-Constitution, travel tales by Publishers Weekly (in a starred review). 

However, most of the other reviews label the book as an odyssey ("...a very funny odyssey" by New York Newsday), a journey, a quest -- all of  which sound suspiciously like the hero's journey to me. Only Kirkus Reviews got it right in my mind: "part travelogue, part personal-discovery memoir".

Yes, the book is a humorous read and, for one who rarely travels, a wonderful way to learn about other countries of the world, but what drove me deeper and deeper into the story was the main character -- Eric himself. No surprise there. That's what pulls us deeper and deeper into every great story --the character. 

As in every great story, the character opens up about himself superficially in the Beginning (1/4). 

On page 93 (the Universal Story form 1/4 mark -- the End of the Beginning), he writes that a "crack forms in [my] armor. A crack large enough, if you're lucky, to let in a few shafts of light." We know at that point that something inside him has shifted. He has left the old world behind and has truly entered the exotic, unusual world of the Middle. 

By the middle of the Middle we understand him more deeply and in that understanding truly care about him and his journey toward "personal-discovery."

The book is all about happiness -- what it is, where it is found, who is happiest, etc...

Thematically, the path is clear. Character Emotional Development-wise, we understand the inherent conflict in this story = the main character, the author, is a self-described mope looking for happiness. Perfect!

The theme of most memoirs and fiction and screenplays is not as clear-cut. However, the theme often comes from the author him or herself. Which makes exploring our own themes a worthy endeavor. Look for exercises to help you get closer to the themes you live your life by in my next post. 

How Much Plot is Too Much Plot?

Question: 

I know the entire story. I'm just not sure how much to tell.

Answer:

Tell only the parts that show more about: 

1) the character emotional development -- this info should come in stages, revealing deeper and deeper layers, the deeper and deeper the reader reads

2) the theme -- as the plot advances, the thematic significance of the story deepens

3) the dramatic action -- action becomes dramatic when filled with conflict, tension, suspense, and / or curiosity -- the sense of threat is both internally and externally driven

4) the details that make up with world the characters live in -- use only authentic and specific details and go for as much symbolism as possible

Tell nothing more. Show nothing less.